I am so ready for all this to be over. Every inch of me aches; parts of me no longer function.
I am tired of others and their choice processes. So many want to take all the very little I have.
Makynzi. She has no Mommy. For 4 years now. So resilient.
I am a prisoner, and there is no escape. So people have been very gracious to me. Undeservedly so.
I still have some things to take care of. Once that is done, then I can just be done. I wish it were today.
My own choice processes are faulty. Very much driven by trying to make up for the missing things.
One thing I still find myself incapable of is being beholden to someone or someones.
Every inch of me aches. Pain. It is in my skin. My skin actually hurts. It is in my muscles. It is in my bones. Internally. I just hurt.
I am tired. I cannot sleep. Now when asked, I simply say, yes, I slept. Why? I am not looking for feigned sympathies. They are an embarrassment to me. A reminder: I am that servant who did not used the coins given. Not in a way that they could benefit my master, anyway.
My eyesight is failing. Daily I can see changes. But only in distance vision. Close up (reading) is still fine.
I am ready to go. But there are still things that must be taken care of. 3K. Firing costs, too.
The Rangers are going to the World Series for the second year in a row.
Why am I such a codger? I always have been a grudge holder, but now I am responding to things in a way that seems ridiculous even to me.
I was told I could be saved. Alas, that was not true, either.
There is so much more to say. But there is so much pain behind my right eye.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Seaching for Peace, none found
My search for peace continues, the never ending quest.
Maybe peace is a myth.
My skin is breaking, as is my mind with it.
Independent of each other, yet happening simultaneously.
Maybe peace is a myth.
My skin is breaking, as is my mind with it.
Independent of each other, yet happening simultaneously.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Historical Inauguration
7/1/2011~ 11am (EST)
Jacksonville, Fl, USA= Today, Jacksonville installs its first African American Mayor, elected with 50.43% of the vote. In a city of 864K, only 194K people voted in this year's mayoral election, the results split just about 50/50, but in favor of the democratic candidate, Alvin Brown, an African American.
In the primaries, it was reported that there was a less than 30% turn out. Three of the four top vote getters were Republican, Hogan, Moran and Mullaney. The clear winner was Hogan, with 34% of the vote. Brown, the second place finisher in the Primaries, secured 25% of the vote. Moran had 22% and Mullaney only secured 15% of the vote. Quick math shows that 71% of the vote went to Republicans. So just how did Alvin Brown win?
It is generally reported that Jacksonville is a Republican Stronghold. But the Supervisor of Elections office reports that there are more persons registered as democrat than republican: Registered Voters as of 07/01/2011 Democrats: 230,040 (43%), Republicans: 193,940 (37%), the remaining 20% split among other smaller party affiliations.
Based simply on those numbers, shouldn't we expect the democrat to win?
A factor in the race certainly was the fact that Mr. Brown was a Black man. The 2010 Census reported that Jacksonville's population is 29.5% black. While it would be ignorant to assume that Mr. Brown could have captured 100% of this vote, he certainly could have expected to capture a significant amount of this vote.
But the fact that Mr. Brown is Black also could have been a polarizing factor: Jacksonville's history is one marred by racial conflict.
Given these facts, was the race Hogan's to lose? How did that happen?
Interestingly, Ms. Moran (listed as a Republican) threw her support behind Mr. Brown, a democrat.
For me, personally, a democratic leaning registered Republican, it was Hogan's reported comments about the bombing of an abortion clinic. Speaking to St Joseph's Catholic Church, in a joint appearance with candidate Rick Mullaney, who also spoke against abortion, it is reported that Hogan said while he "would not bomb an abortion clinic, it may cross his mind..."
The Washington Post (accessed 7/1/2011) reports that 6026 soldiers have died in Operation Iraq Freedom (4442) and Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan) (1584).
We have spent over $1.2 Billion (CostsofWar.com 7/1/2011) prosecuting these wars since 2001.
The significance of these deaths and these costs here plays to my thinking: If we are willing to have this loss of American life and all this borrowed money to fight terrorism. I cannot then, in good conscience, support someone who even jokingly, would make terroristic comments.
I wonder what affect this statement had on other voters.
So today, Jacksonville inaugurates its first black mayor. Way to go. Now we will get to see what kind of job the man, Alvin Brown, can do as mayor. Will he be worthy of reelection?
Jacksonville, Fl, USA= Today, Jacksonville installs its first African American Mayor, elected with 50.43% of the vote. In a city of 864K, only 194K people voted in this year's mayoral election, the results split just about 50/50, but in favor of the democratic candidate, Alvin Brown, an African American.
In the primaries, it was reported that there was a less than 30% turn out. Three of the four top vote getters were Republican, Hogan, Moran and Mullaney. The clear winner was Hogan, with 34% of the vote. Brown, the second place finisher in the Primaries, secured 25% of the vote. Moran had 22% and Mullaney only secured 15% of the vote. Quick math shows that 71% of the vote went to Republicans. So just how did Alvin Brown win?
It is generally reported that Jacksonville is a Republican Stronghold. But the Supervisor of Elections office reports that there are more persons registered as democrat than republican: Registered Voters as of 07/01/2011 Democrats: 230,040 (43%), Republicans: 193,940 (37%), the remaining 20% split among other smaller party affiliations.
Based simply on those numbers, shouldn't we expect the democrat to win?
A factor in the race certainly was the fact that Mr. Brown was a Black man. The 2010 Census reported that Jacksonville's population is 29.5% black. While it would be ignorant to assume that Mr. Brown could have captured 100% of this vote, he certainly could have expected to capture a significant amount of this vote.
But the fact that Mr. Brown is Black also could have been a polarizing factor: Jacksonville's history is one marred by racial conflict.
Given these facts, was the race Hogan's to lose? How did that happen?
Interestingly, Ms. Moran (listed as a Republican) threw her support behind Mr. Brown, a democrat.
For me, personally, a democratic leaning registered Republican, it was Hogan's reported comments about the bombing of an abortion clinic. Speaking to St Joseph's Catholic Church, in a joint appearance with candidate Rick Mullaney, who also spoke against abortion, it is reported that Hogan said while he "would not bomb an abortion clinic, it may cross his mind..."
The Washington Post (accessed 7/1/2011) reports that 6026 soldiers have died in Operation Iraq Freedom (4442) and Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan) (1584).
We have spent over $1.2 Billion (CostsofWar.com 7/1/2011) prosecuting these wars since 2001.
The significance of these deaths and these costs here plays to my thinking: If we are willing to have this loss of American life and all this borrowed money to fight terrorism. I cannot then, in good conscience, support someone who even jokingly, would make terroristic comments.
I wonder what affect this statement had on other voters.
So today, Jacksonville inaugurates its first black mayor. Way to go. Now we will get to see what kind of job the man, Alvin Brown, can do as mayor. Will he be worthy of reelection?
Monday, June 6, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Die, Piggy, Die
Something so vile
Can no longer smile
Being eaten from within
Continuing would be a sin
I refuse to go another mile.
Can no longer smile
Being eaten from within
Continuing would be a sin
I refuse to go another mile.
Monday, May 16, 2011
In N Out, Day 5:
I have had 8 meals at In N Out. Mostly featuring 1 1/2 Double Doubles, but I have also had a 3x3, 1/2 of an Animal, plus one meal consisted of 2 Double Doubles. I need to leave Texas, soon.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Abysmality
Blackness engulfs.
Manage to come up for air.
This creates vacuum that sucks me back down.
Why bother to fight it?
There is no relief.
Things do not 'work out.'
My life on the downward arc.
This inertia cannot be overcome.
Today my father was discussing the idea
that he might outlive me.
I told him it is very likely.
He was running his hand against my forearm.
Hip pain has returned. Fingers in constant pain.
Headaches, no relief.
Why continue?
No one depends on me/ no real loss...
Antagonism all around me.
Is that something I should want to be around?
Please, let me go.
I have nothing to give.
Manage to come up for air.
This creates vacuum that sucks me back down.
Why bother to fight it?
There is no relief.
Things do not 'work out.'
My life on the downward arc.
This inertia cannot be overcome.
Today my father was discussing the idea
that he might outlive me.
I told him it is very likely.
He was running his hand against my forearm.
Hip pain has returned. Fingers in constant pain.
Headaches, no relief.
Why continue?
No one depends on me/ no real loss...
Antagonism all around me.
Is that something I should want to be around?
Please, let me go.
I have nothing to give.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Race and Reason, A Yankee View, Carleton Putnam, 1961
I just finished reading a pamphlet or mini-book written in response to the 1954 case of Brown v. Board of Education, and the impact of integration of school systems in the south.
Brown was a case brought in Kansas; Mr. Putnam's issue with regard to integration was a matter of numbers: He cites the 1950 African American (called Negro at that time) population in the southern states to be anywhere from 31% (Georgia) to 49% (Mississippi). The significance of the Brown decision on the Southern States was lost on him, a northerner; that is why his activity regarding this cause did not begin until 1958, with his magnum opus, Race and Reason, A Yankee View, on the matter being published in 1961.
His argument is for the sustaining of the original Supreme Court decision, Plessy v. Ferguson, from 1896, that held that if facilities were separate but equal, there was no violation of the 14th amendment.
In his paper, Mr. Putnam makes the argument that the "Negro Race" is inferior in Mind and Character. Specifically, he states, "In other qualities of mind and character, qualities specially involved in our Western civilization, the full-blooded Negro is congenitally only partially adaptable." (Putman, 15)
His argument is laced with pseudo-science, his position more ipso facto, based on the lack of development demonstrated by the inhabitants of Africa (Northern Africa, for Mr. Putnam's argument, is considered to be part of the Caucasian Race, following the anthropological work of Coon and others).
He says that Haiti is the perfect example of what the Negro Race, moved to the western hemisphere, is capable of (which he implies is a failure). "The moment the support of other races is withdrawn, they retrogress, as in Haiti." (Putnam, 18)
He first wrote a letter to the editor of Life magazine in response to a "debate" in the magazine regarding school integration. This letter was published in many southern newspapers, according to Mr. Putnam's account.
He then wrote to the president (Eisenhower) and finally to the Attorney General. His position with regard to the attorney general was that there was a failure to uphold his duty to the American People, citing a lack of any argument made by the Attorney General during the Brown case. (Putnam, 8).
My interest in this document came about while I was considering the issue of birthers and President Obama. Things can be spun based on the framing.
I also was interested in this framing of the negro race as a failure, or at the very least behind 3 of the other 4 races. Mr. Putnam held up the English, and pre-1880 White American population as the penultimate civilization, even arguing that the white "inter-breeding" going on in America (English with the Germans, Irish and Scandinavians) as mimicking what had taken place, in essentially the same ratios, in the development of the non-welsh Englishman. (Putnam, 19).
I recently have been reading a book called How Breakthroughs Happen. The theme of the book is the synthesis of innovation across industries. Such an argument certainly would apply in contrast to Mr. Putnam's position; the English were the beneficiaries of being invaded by the Romans, whose civilization was built on the backs of the Greeks, Persians, and Babylonians, all, along with the German and Scandinavian influences, created a confluence of ideas and technologies that allowed the English, then we Americans, to flourish.
One thing I have discussed with some of my friends is history, especially the rise and fall of civilizations. Although the Chinese Economy is 1/3 the American economy, they have 1/5 of the world's population, and an awful lot of US Treasury securities. Someday, they are going to be looking to collect.
Putnam's book can be found online at http://www.jrbooksonline.com/PDFs/Race_and_Reason.pdf
Brown was a case brought in Kansas; Mr. Putnam's issue with regard to integration was a matter of numbers: He cites the 1950 African American (called Negro at that time) population in the southern states to be anywhere from 31% (Georgia) to 49% (Mississippi). The significance of the Brown decision on the Southern States was lost on him, a northerner; that is why his activity regarding this cause did not begin until 1958, with his magnum opus, Race and Reason, A Yankee View, on the matter being published in 1961.
His argument is for the sustaining of the original Supreme Court decision, Plessy v. Ferguson, from 1896, that held that if facilities were separate but equal, there was no violation of the 14th amendment.
In his paper, Mr. Putnam makes the argument that the "Negro Race" is inferior in Mind and Character. Specifically, he states, "In other qualities of mind and character, qualities specially involved in our Western civilization, the full-blooded Negro is congenitally only partially adaptable." (Putman, 15)
His argument is laced with pseudo-science, his position more ipso facto, based on the lack of development demonstrated by the inhabitants of Africa (Northern Africa, for Mr. Putnam's argument, is considered to be part of the Caucasian Race, following the anthropological work of Coon and others).
He says that Haiti is the perfect example of what the Negro Race, moved to the western hemisphere, is capable of (which he implies is a failure). "The moment the support of other races is withdrawn, they retrogress, as in Haiti." (Putnam, 18)
He first wrote a letter to the editor of Life magazine in response to a "debate" in the magazine regarding school integration. This letter was published in many southern newspapers, according to Mr. Putnam's account.
He then wrote to the president (Eisenhower) and finally to the Attorney General. His position with regard to the attorney general was that there was a failure to uphold his duty to the American People, citing a lack of any argument made by the Attorney General during the Brown case. (Putnam, 8).
My interest in this document came about while I was considering the issue of birthers and President Obama. Things can be spun based on the framing.
I also was interested in this framing of the negro race as a failure, or at the very least behind 3 of the other 4 races. Mr. Putnam held up the English, and pre-1880 White American population as the penultimate civilization, even arguing that the white "inter-breeding" going on in America (English with the Germans, Irish and Scandinavians) as mimicking what had taken place, in essentially the same ratios, in the development of the non-welsh Englishman. (Putnam, 19).
I recently have been reading a book called How Breakthroughs Happen. The theme of the book is the synthesis of innovation across industries. Such an argument certainly would apply in contrast to Mr. Putnam's position; the English were the beneficiaries of being invaded by the Romans, whose civilization was built on the backs of the Greeks, Persians, and Babylonians, all, along with the German and Scandinavian influences, created a confluence of ideas and technologies that allowed the English, then we Americans, to flourish.
One thing I have discussed with some of my friends is history, especially the rise and fall of civilizations. Although the Chinese Economy is 1/3 the American economy, they have 1/5 of the world's population, and an awful lot of US Treasury securities. Someday, they are going to be looking to collect.
Putnam's book can be found online at http://www.jrbooksonline.com/PDFs/Race_and_Reason.pdf
Birther arguments
Hawaii's privacy Laws prevent them from releasing Obama's birth certificate, which he produced during the 2008 campaign.There is a bill currently before the Hawaii State Representatives that would allow anyone willing to pay $100 to get a copy of the certificate for themselves.
I think it is crazy. Similar to the crazy coverage of Palin by MSNBC and the rebuttals offered by FoxNEWS. 2008 is over, people. We have serious troubles. The conversation needs to shift.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Abyss Wed, Sep 8, 2010 at 11:20 AM
Sinking deeper
In a free fall now
Blackness darker
Bottomless abysmality
Sent from Joe's BlackBerry Storm
In a free fall now
Blackness darker
Bottomless abysmality
Sent from Joe's BlackBerry Storm
Thursday, January 27, 2011
How does a cuckoo clock cuckoo?
The "cuc-koo" sound is created by two tiny gedackt (pipes) in the clock, with bellows attached to their tops. The clock's movement activates the bellows to send a puff of air into each pipe alternately when the clock strikes.
Gedackt (also spelled gedeckt) is the name of a family of stops in pipe organ building. They are one of the most common types of organ flue pipe. The name is a German word, meaning "capped" or "covered".
Both from en.wikipedia.com under Cuckoo Clock and Gedackt, respectively, accessed 1/26/2011.
Picture also from wikipedia, posted by Leeawiki on March 20, 2007.
Gedackt (also spelled gedeckt) is the name of a family of stops in pipe organ building. They are one of the most common types of organ flue pipe. The name is a German word, meaning "capped" or "covered".
Both from en.wikipedia.com under Cuckoo Clock and Gedackt, respectively, accessed 1/26/2011.
Picture also from wikipedia, posted by Leeawiki on March 20, 2007.
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