Life and things best left unsaid

I am so ready for all this to be over. Every inch of me aches; parts of me no longer function.

I am tired of others and their choice processes. So many want to take all the very little I have.

Makynzi. She has no Mommy. For 4 years now. So resilient.

I am a prisoner, and there is no escape. So people have been very gracious to me. Undeservedly so.

I still have some things to take care of. Once that is done, then I can just be done. I wish it were today.

My own choice processes are faulty. Very much driven by trying to make up for the missing things.

One thing I still find myself incapable of is being beholden to someone or someones.

Every inch of me aches. Pain. It is in my skin. My skin actually hurts. It is in my muscles. It is in my bones. Internally. I just hurt.

I am tired. I cannot sleep. Now when asked, I simply say, yes, I slept. Why? I am not looking for feigned sympathies. They are an embarrassment to me. A reminder: I am that servant who did not used the coins given. Not in a way that they could benefit my master, anyway.

My eyesight is failing. Daily I can see changes. But only in distance vision. Close up (reading) is still fine.

I am ready to go. But there are still things that must be taken care of. 3K. Firing costs, too.

The Rangers are going to the World Series for the second year in a row.

Why am I such a codger? I always have been a grudge holder, but now I am responding to things in a way that seems ridiculous even to me.

I was told I could be saved. Alas, that was not true, either.

There is so much more to say. But there is so much pain behind my right eye.